Humble and Kind

This was originally posted May of 2016
Recently I had a patient who is in her mid 40s who works in a local High school and sees issues with the youth population.  She and her husband like myself had grown up in this area and commented about the changes we had seen.  I guess it was an admission of our age.  She is the mother of a 20 year old boy and 17 year old girl.  This is a family I have known for a few years and have had the opportunity to work with each member of this family.  They are active athletic people and to me anyone who can raise “good” children are worthy of admiration.  During this particular visit She happened to be telling me about her daughter and how she was doing in school and athletics.  I mentioned that I had seen them after the Easter service.  She told me that I was the topic of conversation on their trip home.  She commented how they noticed that I opened the door of the car for my wife and mother.  This seems like a simple thing and should be common but in a day with the key fob button that unlocks the doors and can do multiple functions too frequently you will see a couple approach the car and he gets in his side and she in hers.
This woman and her husband discussed the scene in the parking lot with their daughter noting that if she could find a “boy” who would do this for her she should marry him.  Now this girl is on a good path as her parents are guiding her toward self respect and having others treat her the way she deserves to be treated.  Good on them.
I am always struck when I see a man remove his hat upon entering a building.  It seems like a simple thing it shows respect.  On occasion I see a few men who wear their baseball hats or fedora through church.  This goes against Hat etiquette https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=hat+etiquette but I am glad I am not sitting behind the guy in the fedora, How rude.
In (the Dojo) Martial arts training we work to humble ourselves with all participants.  We bow to each other at the beginning and end of class to show mutual respect.  We utter the statement in Japanese, “Onagashi Masu”  Meaning “Please assist me”  or “Do me this favor”.  We do this at the beginning and end of exercises no mater the partners age rank, gender or affiliation.  This is emphasized with the new white belts on their early lessons with the black belts.  The senior is also asking the junior for assistance.  Everyone removes their shoes at the door to keep the floor clean.  We all take off our jewelry.  We are required to keep our nails short.  Our uniforms should be kept relatively clean.  This is not a dress code for the sake of conservative values, it is for our protection and the protection of our classmates.  No one wants to be put into a headlock by someone who has not washed their uniform since their last grading.  It is dangerous to meet with someones toenails as they kick or step toward you.  At a minimum you may have to miss a few minutes while you clean and dress the wound.
As we travel and have time to visit like minded individuals I find it fun to watch and participate in the race to refill your companions tea before they can fill yours. It is not a race of course, but the point is to put others before yourself.  It is hard when you want a cup of tea and find the tea pot is only partly full to pour for your two neighbors and then have nothing left for your own cup.
I recently was turned on to a song by Tim Mcgraw that I really like and says a lot of this.  The link to it on Youtube is below.  Enjoy!

 


Date: Tue, 24 May 2016 12:20:02 -0700

trayounger has shared a video with you on YouTube
Tim McGraw – Humble And Kind (Official Video)
Humble and Kind is off Tim’s album DAMN COUNTRY MUSIC: …
©2016 YouTube, LLC 901 Cherry Ave, San Bruno, CA 94066

Celebrating partners and Moms

So we have arrived into May.  May offers a lot here, we get antsy and involved in summer activities and get outside on occasion…

So as we finished up April I was reflecting back on the Gasshuku to give an update and congratulations to all who attended.  Several who were unable to attend were missed but several students attended this year who had not before.  It was my thought that they would be hit hard and fast with new information.  My concern was that it would  overwhelming.  It was so great to see new students to this level step up and go through this amount and intensity of training.  As an instructor I tend to get evaluated by the students performance, not just in how they preform techniques new and old, but how they behave in the dojo etc.  It was very uplifting to see them do so well and to have the head instructor and several seniors pull me aside and comment on the students.  Now this is not new that the quality of students here has been complimented but it always feels good and it keeps me from having to do remediation…  The first year we hosted something like this I got the call out for a dinner, not uncommon, but the debriefing was new.  I was instructed on areas that were lacking in the student population.  Rather uncomfortable but these were the corrections I needed at the time.  Fortunately we plugged the gaps noted at that time and have moved forward.  Now there are always things that I am learning about how we can improve, things get pointed out all the time but now they are technique and less procedural.  Congratulations to all who survived and thank you for making me look good.

One big note for in this last gathering we had a mother son student paring (other than Mrs. Young and myself).  Now there have been many other family parings over the years but this is a special month with mothers day coming up next weekend to note this.  We remarked at how special that is.  Even suggesting they look around and ask how many other parent child combinations do you see?  With 4 female participants at this event and in many dojos women seem to be the minority so, how many Moms…?  What other activity can parents and children participate in together?  Yes there are some but it is special to the martial arts practice.  Having shared 34 years of participation with my own mother I may be coming from a perspective.  She has demonstrated herself to be one of the toughest people I know.  She has overcome mental blockages and significant physical pain to rise to the level she has achieved.  I have written about this before but it bears repeating, she has been the driving force that has helped me get to where I am, supporting me at every grading.  Her support has kept this dojo going.  Her ability and attitude has been the inspiration for me and many of our students, perhaps this is why we have many women young girls and even moms that participate.

So for May we will be working on partner drills… The reason to attend classes.  We will do Kakie, Bunkai (kihon and Rensoku) and Sandan Gi.  Buckle up for a fun month of partner training….

April…

As I look out the window, and feel the single digit temperature I want to say happy winter.  I have been enjoying shoveling snow while listening to the birds.  So today we are into April the fourth month and the beginning of our second quarter.  

In past years we have worked on Shesochin kata; fighting in the four directions…  This year we will continue to think of the four directions Perhaps more simply than the complete kata.  We will work with Ido or movement and turning both 90 degrees and 180 per our usual, but we will introduce the 270 degree turn to many of you.

Just a reminder Yoga is Tuesday evenings 6:30-7:30 pm.  The current drop in cost is $7.00 and punch cards are available for $63. Beginning June 1 the Drop in rate will be $8.00 and Punch cards will be $72 for 10 punches.  Purchase punch card prior to that date for the savings.  Adult Karate students are welcome to attend at no additional cost.  Parents who have children enrolled in karate are welcome to attend Yoga at no charge as well.

Over the next weeks and months we will be offering additional classes and having some expansions of our programming.  More information will be out as it becomes available.  Some classes will be series Like Tai chi class beginning May 8.  This will be a 45 minute class from 12:15-1:00 running Tuesdays and Thursdays from May 8- June 14.  This is a separate class and must be registered for specifically.  The investment is $72 for the 6 week class.  Others classes like this will be offered soon.

The Character of Integrity…

Many who know me know I am an avid bicycle commuter, riding daily trough the year. Today it was a quiet morning, a beautiful sunny day with a temperature in the mid 60’s. To me this is a perfect morning to ride. I was riding down a road I ride multiple times a day on my way to work. I approached approaching a four way stop that I go through multiple times daily. Approaching the intersection I looked in all directions and saw there was no one visible in any direction. To my left there are trees and visibility is limited but no one visible approaching or at the intersection. I went through the stop sign without even slowing down. As I got into the intersection a large Chevy impala approached and then stopped at the sign. The driver respectfully said out the window, “There’s a stop sign.” I was instantly convicted. He was right in that I did not follow the rules, or display good character. I justify this non stop by saying how much effort it is to start back up. I began thinking if he had made the same choice, perhaps justifying it saying it was best for his fuel mileage, I would have likely been struck by his car and my perfect morning would have taken a very different direction. I continued my ride thinking about character.

Character is who you are when no one is looking… I continued to think about what image do you want to project. The actions you undertake generally have effect beyond just that moment. In may places their exists animosity between auto drivers and bicyclists. An issue that can end badly for someone on a bike. I certainly did not want to contribute to this. In seeing riders who cut sharply across traffic, ride in the middle of the road or into traffic I usually want to yell at them myself. At one time I was a few hundred feet behind an older rider who chose to make a right turn in to a traffic lane without stopping or apparently looking because he was struck by a van. He bounced along the side of the van after he was clear the van attempted to stop. The rider waved and said “its all right”… My response was “no its not” you totally blew into traffic, how does that driver feel? Riders like this make all of us look bad, creating negative image of bicyclists in the minds of auto drivers. As a rider is us usually a good idea to approach your ride like you were an auto following traffic laws. I appreciate the use of bike paths but have taken advantage of the occasional “rolling stop”when no one is looking.

I want to thank the driver of that impala for correcting my behavior and offering a check of my character.

In karate this happens often. We do our practice thinking we may have done it the way that is correct but a well tuned eye will catch even a minor detail. They will call you out on what they see. The next step is what to do with it… Do you defend your action saying I thought… or do you take the correction and examine what was offered and find out what it has to offer? Perhaps that correction will keep you from bouncing off the side of a van, or worse, in your future.