This was originally posted May of 2016
Recently I had a patient who is in her mid 40s who works in a local High school and sees issues with the youth population. She and her husband like myself had grown up in this area and commented about the changes we had seen. I guess it was an admission of our age. She is the mother of a 20 year old boy and 17 year old girl. This is a family I have known for a few years and have had the opportunity to work with each member of this family. They are active athletic people and to me anyone who can raise “good” children are worthy of admiration. During this particular visit She happened to be telling me about her daughter and how she was doing in school and athletics. I mentioned that I had seen them after the Easter service. She told me that I was the topic of conversation on their trip home. She commented how they noticed that I opened the door of the car for my wife and mother. This seems like a simple thing and should be common but in a day with the key fob button that unlocks the doors and can do multiple functions too frequently you will see a couple approach the car and he gets in his side and she in hers.
This woman and her husband discussed the scene in the parking lot with their daughter noting that if she could find a “boy” who would do this for her she should marry him. Now this girl is on a good path as her parents are guiding her toward self respect and having others treat her the way she deserves to be treated. Good on them.
I am always struck when I see a man remove his hat upon entering a building. It seems like a simple thing it shows respect. On occasion I see a few men who wear their baseball hats or fedora through church. This goes against Hat etiquette https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=hat+etiquette but I am glad I am not sitting behind the guy in the fedora, How rude.
In (the Dojo) Martial arts training we work to humble ourselves with all participants. We bow to each other at the beginning and end of class to show mutual respect. We utter the statement in Japanese, “Onagashi Masu” Meaning “Please assist me” or “Do me this favor”. We do this at the beginning and end of exercises no mater the partners age rank, gender or affiliation. This is emphasized with the new white belts on their early lessons with the black belts. The senior is also asking the junior for assistance. Everyone removes their shoes at the door to keep the floor clean. We all take off our jewelry. We are required to keep our nails short. Our uniforms should be kept relatively clean. This is not a dress code for the sake of conservative values, it is for our protection and the protection of our classmates. No one wants to be put into a headlock by someone who has not washed their uniform since their last grading. It is dangerous to meet with someones toenails as they kick or step toward you. At a minimum you may have to miss a few minutes while you clean and dress the wound.
As we travel and have time to visit like minded individuals I find it fun to watch and participate in the race to refill your companions tea before they can fill yours. It is not a race of course, but the point is to put others before yourself. It is hard when you want a cup of tea and find the tea pot is only partly full to pour for your two neighbors and then have nothing left for your own cup.
I recently was turned on to a song by Tim Mcgraw that I really like and says a lot of this. The link to it on Youtube is below. Enjoy!